Afroman - Crazy Rap

Wait a minute, man
Hey, check this out, man (tell it)
It was this blind man, right? (this man)
It was this blind man, right?

He was feelin' his way down the street with a stick, right? (hey)
He walked past this fish market (fish market?), you know what I'm sayin'?
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
Woo good morning ladies" (ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)

You like that shit, man? pretty good man
Hey man, I've got a gang of that shit, man
Hey, I'll tell you what
We'll all have a good time

We'll fool on the drum
And hey, hey if everybody crowd around the mic'
I'll tell you all these motherfuckin' jokes I got
First I'm gonna start off like that, hey help me sing it, homeboy

Said Colt Fortyfive and two zigzags, baby, that's all we need
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale
Skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll, the Eighty-three Cadillac Coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in a small white town
They call it East Side Palmdale (well)
When the Afroman walked through the white land
Houses went up for sale

Well, I was standing on the corner sellin' rap CDs
When I met a little girl named Jan
I let her ride in my Caddy
Because I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan

We fucked on the bed
Fucked on the floor
Fucked so long I grew a fuckin' afro
Then I fucked to the left (left)
Fucked to the right (right)

She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white
I thought to myself, "sheeba-sheeba"
Got my ass lookin' like a zebra
I put on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

And so I ran, I jumped out the back window
But her daddy, he was waitin' with a two-by-four
Oh, he beat me to the left
He beat me to the right

The motherfucker whooped my ass all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad
That's the best damn pussy I ever had
Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna fuck that bitch just one more time

Colt Fortyfive and two zigzags, baby, that's all we need
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale
Skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll, the Eighty-three Cadillac Coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair, but damn she looked good
I took her to my house because she was fine
But she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan
Never made love with an African
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice
I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya)
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big titties too
So I hopped in her ass like Kangaroo

See, I met this woman from Hawaii
Stuck it in her ass and she said "AIEE!"
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch
Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch

I met Colonel Sanders' wife in the state of Kentucky
She said, "I'd fry some chicken if you'd just fuck me"
I came in her mouth, it was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend of Herbs 'n' Spices

Colt Fortyfive and two zigzags, baby, that's all we need
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Her titties were filled with Hennessy
That country music really drove me crazy
But I rode that ass and said, "Yes, Miss Daisy"

Met this lady in Oklahoma
Put that pussy in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan
I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again

Met a real black girl down in South Carolina
Fucked her until she turned into a white albino
Fucked this hooker in Iowa
I fucked her on credit, so I owe her (ha, ha)

Fucked this girl down in Georgia
Came in her mouth, man, I thought I told ya?
Met this beautiful sexy ho
She just ran across the border of Mexico

Fine young thing said her name's Maria
I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it
I know I'ma cry when she get deported

Colt Fortyfive and two zigzags, baby, that's all we need
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale
Skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll, the Eighty-three Cadillac Coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will